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perfect match, do you think that love at first sight is real or imagined?  If you are in your dating seeking journey and you are trying to find your perfect match, then you first need to realize what real love really is.  If you are trying to figure out whether or not love at first sight with a person who you think is your perfect match is for real, then you need to get back to the basics.  Love is unconditional.  There is no question about that.  If you are trying to find a love with your perfect match, then you need to understand that basic factor, that love is unconditional.  If you cannot grasp that fact, then you will have a terrible time of finding a love with your perfect match.  When you love someone, you accept his or her faults and learn to love him or her regardless of what this person does.  However, in your search for your perfect match, do not think that you need to be walked upon and be a push over.  You need to offer your perfect match your unconditional love and acceptance; yet, you must make certain that you do not condone bad behavior or get sucked into a lifestyle that would not be beneficial to you.  That is why there are boundaries that you need to set with you and your perfect match.

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"What inspires me is anything visual. My background is in Fine Arts; so I studied paintings, sculptures, and drawings. I have always been gifted in illustrating, drawing, and sketching. The root of what inspires me is always color, texture, or pattern; but it could be a beautiful leaf on a plant to a gorgeous crystal doorknob in a restaurant. A beautiful carpet in someone's home. Cuff links. Striped socks. I find inspiration everywhere. When I get a chance to connect with real women, I try to show them how to do the same thing. I think of myself as a style teacher. I really am a teacher at heart, I love to teach women men how to really look at everything in their world and have it inspire their personal style as well as lifestyle," reflects a thoughtful Lloyd Boston.

This is a wonderful summation of Lloyd Boston's fashionable character; a gentleman devoted to the beauty of teaching others about personal style. He is the consummate sartorial educator. Looking effortless in a luxurious chalk striped heather gray suit jacket layered over a smart cashmere v-neck and paired with some relaxed tan chinos, Boston appeared at Somerset Macy's in Troy, Michigan to highlight new Autumn arrivals from Jones New York and offer style tips to women in attendance. As relaxed as his sockless velvet slippers, the runway show was unpretentious and fun. Concentrating on reinvigorating one's wardrobe with the fusion of old classics and new favorites, Jones New York Lloyd Boston promised to make it an interesting afternoon.

Author of three books (with a fourth set for release next year), style editor for The Today Show, and host of his own show Closet Cases on Fine Living Network; Boston travels the country reconnecting loyal Jones New York customers with newer more modern collections being offered each season. He also teaches women how to extract more mileage from preexisting garments in their wardrobe by utilizing them in fresh different ways with newer pieces. With his "Style Miles", women can better evaluate their closet and use seasonal pieces from Jones New York to liven up an old clothing rotation. "We really try to figure out what really works best for their bodies, budget, and lifestyle. We try to get the most style miles using what we offer each season," says Boston.

Just a few garments can enliven a closet. The bold fun leopard print jacket. The amazing glen plaid cuff pants. A touch of heaven with the cashmere cowl neck sweater. Jones New York has definitely covered all the bases with trusted classics with a terrific fit. With the second floor of Macy's Somerset Troy transformed into a dazzling runway fashion show, women got the chance to absorb the hottest trends for Fall fashion. Speaking to Boston before the show, I asked him what five pieces should have a home in any sophisticated lady's closet this Fall.

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Has your sex life been a bit neglected lately? Its not like you dont care but well, its just finding the time and energy. It seems impossible some days because theres work and cleaning and working out and grocery shopping and cooking dinner, laundry, kids, family commitments, friends, ironing! When you do get horizontal you pass out within minutes. Or youre not in the mood. Or you just cant be bothered. Soon enough a month has passed and you cant remember the last time you had sex. And when was the last time you kissed your partner and I mean really kissed them, not just a polite peck?
If this sounds like you and you want to get back to having a healthy sex life keep reading.
1. Start slow
If you havent been intimate for sometime then you might want to build up slowly to get back in synch with each other. Instead of attempting to leap from a standing start to racing speed, ease your way back into each others physical space by touching when you can and by being considerate with each other.
2. Surprise!
The element of surprise can be very enticing. You could try taking a long bath together, ambush your partner with a long slow kiss when they are expecting to just touch lips, buy some sexy outfit and give them their own fashion show!
3. Say what youd like
Dont assume that because youve been together for awhile that your partner knows exactly what you want. Even if they do know, it wont hurt to tell them once in awhile.
4. Enjoy yourself
When was the last time you fell about laughing together? Or try playing your favorite music and dancing up a storm. Or buy the music that was popular when you first got together and put it on for a trip down memory lane.
5. Put it on paper
If you feel embarrassed saying what you want write it instead. The plus is that you can be as specific as you like without your face turning beetroot red and it gives your partner time to process what youve said and get into the mood.
6. Be There
Focus on what you are doing by stopping the internal chatter. Dont worry that you forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, or how you need to call your mother about her birthday, or the fact that youre out of cereal. Leave all that stuff to later. Much later. Chances are it wont seem nearly so important once youre done.
7. Sex stories to get you in the mood
The mind is crucial in any attempt to resuscitate your sex life. It needs to be turned on first and the body will follow.
Increasing your sex drive wont happen overnight. It will take some effort. But it wont happen just because you want it to be different. Try taking an active approach to getting the most out of your sex life. Of all the strategies listed above, reading erotic stories can be one of the most powerful. The secret is finding the right stories but even that isnt so difficult anymore.

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"I just want people to really get to know me as an individual," Vick said last week in an interview from his home in Philadelphia. "What I want to do is change the perception of me. I am a human being. I've made some mistakes in the past, and I wish it had never happened. But it's not about how you fall, but about how you pick yourself up."
Producers of the Vick series emphasized the program should be considered a docu-series -- not a typical reality show like VH-1's "The T.O. Show," which revels in the excesses of its flamboyant star, wide receiver Terrell Owens. The tone of Vick's show, say producers, will be serious and somber as it focuses on his personal struggles since his release, including the strains on his relationships with his fiancée, Kijafa Frink, and his children. It will also revisit the federal prison in Leavenworth, Kan., where Vick spent 1 1/2 years behind bars and the Virginia property where he ran and financed a dogfighting ring.

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Interracial Lesbian Strap on Sex

  • Oct. 8th, 2009 at 6:42 AM

Ebony lesbian superstars Mahlia Milian and Monica Foster light up the screen in this explicit girl on girl clip. Both ladies introduce themselves to the camera with a solo striptease before the real action begins. One girl is wearing her sluttiest lingerie, including heels and thigh high black stockings that looks absolutely delectable. The other lady is completely nude, her full breasts bared boldly to the camera. The girls lie down on the couch on top of one another, and one girl takes charge, forcefully tonguing her partner's cunt and clit before she pulls out a slim white dildo. She proceeds to masturbate her ebony girlfriend to orgasm.

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Oily Virgin Dives In: Hungry

  • Oct. 8th, 2009 at 3:16 AM















This was so incredibly good (if I do say so myself). I was even proud of the way it looked. All the seafood is from the Farmers Market and it's expensive to make but worth it. Aside from the chorizo, it's actually quite healthy. If I were to make this just for us and not guests, I would use chicken chorizo to lighten it up more. I used Emeril's recipe and it was perfect. Now if only I had a commercial stove that could handle this I'd make it all the time. Mine almost melted.

Something about fall makes me want to cook. I have homemade chili for lunch today. I'm going to post my secret recipe because it's so easy, cheap and filling. I keep half in the fridge in single serving containers and freeze the rest (also in single serving containers)

What you need:
Trinity mix (onion, green pepper and celery) - I buy this pre-diced in the produce section which saves me time and waste.
Bag of shredded carrots
1lb. ground turkey breast
2 cans crushed tomatoes
2 cans spicy chili beans
1 can kidney beans
1 can black beans
minced garlic - frozen garlic cubes from Trader Joes have changed my life
Chili Powder
Crushed Red Pepper

What to do:
Cook trinity mix in 1 TBS olive oil until soft.
Add ground turkey breast and cook until brown. (You shouldn't have to drain it if you have lean breast)
Add Tomatoes
Drain kidney beans (leave liquid in all other beans) and add to pot
Add carrots (this is done simply to sneak in more veggies. Sometimes I use zucchini too!)
Add garlic
Add about 4 TBS chili powder
Add crushed red pepper to taste.

Bring to boil then simmer for an hour or 2. That's it!

People rave about my chili and most of it comes from cans. I also make a white bean chicken chili in the crock pot. We rotate the 2 chilis through most of the winter for lunches though my husband prefers the red stuff.

Today I saved my workout for after work since I heard a rumor the sun was going to come out. I haven't had enough sunlight lately so I'm going to go for a big walk tonight. The sun doesn't rise until I'm leaving for work this time of year so I need to keep doing what I feel like doing in terms of exercise. It's been rather liberating not forcing myself to stick to one particular thing. I'm also starting to THINK about affording the Y around the corner. With winter coming, that would help a great deal.

Hope everyone is having a good week! Thanks as always for your awesome advice.

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Matt Picks A Wife
For Matt Neustadt it all comes down to last nights show of Farmer Wants A Wife. It all began with one farmer Portage DeSoux’s very own Matt Neustadt who had the chance to pick a wife from ten city girls. Our ladies came from all over America and one even from Canada. They never imagined the challenges they would endure, eliminations. For Stephanie, Josie, Krista, Stacey, Lisa, Ashley, Amanda, Christa, and Brooke the journey began on a big yellow school bus and ended in various country ways.

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We're giving away 100 custom made invitations AND a beautiful 5-7 Present Card Box!!! For a total value of over $600!!!

Here are the prize details:

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5x7 Invitation Panel - card can have a double sided design or be layered on choice of specialty stock from our collection. If layered, the finished size is 5.25 x 7.25
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The card box and invitations are valued at over $600! Not getting yo money stolen or having any guests at your wedding is... well, its a helluvalot better than that!

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Last week I turned 22 and a half. Not quite a milestone but I technically dont need a real occasion for a celebration ergo I took the liberty to treat myself to a s 6 months to your birthday! present.

Sidebar: I would tell you what I bought but you know when you buy something and it appears so opulent, youre compelled to tell people its a gift just so you dont look self-indulgent and insensitive to the recession? Yes it was that sort of gift.

Im aware some of you are shaking your heads because I buy gifts for myself but my friend read a book and the woman who wrote it (who is now divorced so Im not sure shes the best authority on relationships.) claimed that women should reward themselves with small gifts for small victories in life.

Which is obviously nonsense but I use it as an excuse because 9/10 people buy it.

Sidebar: Buying small gifts for yourself for doing things you should be doing already only reinforces the me, me, me, I deserve it mentality that breeds narcissism and eventually causes credit crunches. Logical leap? Of course, but you get my drift.

The truth is I bought the gift because I wanted it. However but the fact Im writing a blog about my age is a small victory.

Up until a few months ago I was in denial I was even in my twenties.

I loved being 19. I honestly believe for a woman 19, 21 (and 40) are the sexiest ages to say/claim you are......

So how old are you again?

Says (significantly) older gentlemen aware the answer could have potentially huge ramifications.



Answers precocious teen with a naughty smirk.

Significantly older gentlemen looks slightly embarrassed, but hes more embarrassed that precocious teen can see the naughty thoughts flashing thorough his mind.

But telling someone youre 22? No fun.

Apart from the fact its the same number when reversed (and the next time Ill be a mirror age is 33) theres nothing great about it.

Now despite the fact I intend to be 22 until I turn 25, I have truly embraced the fact that Im getting older. And unless youre a waste man/woman with no prospects, ambition or focus, with age comes responsibility.

In the last few years Ive passed that pleasant stage of life where my conversations revolved solely around

a) The next party

b) Some guy who I was absolutely infatuated with but I was too blind to see would rather fork stab himself than be with me

c) What I was going to buy next

Not that I dont still talk about what Im going to buy next. Ive chronicled my (deliberate) failure to overcome my shopping addiction extensively. However the Guvnas decision (love you dad!) to (permanently) severe my allowance post graduation has not only left a huge void in my current account but also meant Ive had to think about some serious questions.

Questions like..

1) I know money matters, but is the fact Id rather do what I love and be poor, then do what I hate and be a millionaire, madness?

2) Since saving/budgeting/thinking before spending has been a foreign concept for my whole life, is there some sort of government sponsored initiative that teaches these principles?

3) After reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad (for the second time and failing to finish it because I wanted to know exactly how the rich dad made his money, not some abstract vague moralistic tale with the omission of hard facts, figures and crucially evidence)

Apparently Im supposed to make my money work for me and not work for money surely my shoe/clothing allowance can be placed in the investment column?

4) I come from three generations of women who have worked (three hurrahs for Nigerian feminists). Since my childhood my parents have drilled into me that I have no option but to work harder than my peers, showing discipline and diligence all the time. The whole WAG mentality e.g. marry a rich man and spending the day spending his money, is a lifestyle diametrically opposed to everything my parents have taught me. The idea of sitting at home and having out babies intermittently is my nightmare.

Sidebar: No offence to housewives, but Ive only been exposed to women who are housewives and bring in an income.

Consequently Im very career driven. In fact my career (after my family/relationships) is my only priority. However if I continue to make my career my boyfriend am I at risk of ending up with a beautiful closet, successful career, shrivelled ovaries, 20 vibrators but no one to share my life with?

5) On the other hand, the idea that a woman cannot be extremely successful and have healthy relationships a fallacy that many women have wrongly bought into?

6) I went out to dinner the other day and the girls present couldnt stop talking about having children in a few years and the witches made me feel bad because in a few years Id rather buy a house and have a career. Therefore when I eventually decide to lose my figure and forgo vaginal tightness for maternal duties at least my children will be in a financially stable environment. does that make too much sense?

7) If God were a woman, would people stop worshiping him?

8) Will I get to an age when people will stop making comments about my (admittedly fluctuating) weight?

9) Bar my parents (and a few exceptions) I dont know many couples that make me want to get married. Sadly I think a successful marriage is pretty unfeasible in a modern context. According to statistics by age 40, half of my peer group will be divorced or miserable. Did Samantha have the right idea?

Sidebar: Of course Samantha didnt have the right idea. Being 50 and bed hoping is just plain nassssty.

10) Most friendships are ephemeral but what do you do when can see/feel youre losing a friend you hoped youd have for life? Do you hold on or let go?

11) Its my dream in life to one day track down Lauryn Hill and persuade her to make more music. Is there someone out there who has the passion to track down 80% of the singers in the charts and persuade them to do the opposite?

12) MJs passing has made me realise that we dont treasure the things we have until we lose them. So maybe I should just enjoy being 22and leave it as that? * smile *

.

So yes, those are some of the questions that have been passing through my mind. Some of them will be answered eventually, but Im coming to think its not so much about getting an answer, the real beauty is in lessons I will learn during the journey.

Peace, Love and Learning Curves.

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Boundaries in Dating Espousals « My Cosmos

  • Oct. 7th, 2009 at 12:01 PM

upcoming series at Revolution.
It is by far the most helpful and thorough book on the topic of money, stewardship and the church I have come across. Malphurs is a professor, so he brings with him a host of knowledge on the theological end of the spectrum when it comes to this topic and Stroope is a pastor of a growing church that is able to help apply the concepts in easy ways for pastors and leaders to use.
The book covers topics like what stewardship is, what the Bible has to say about money, how a church chooses a bank, good banking habits, creating a strategic budget, funding new facilities and ministries, paying staff members, how a church chooses what benefits to pay for, how to deal with debt and how to run a capital campaign from beginning to end.
Like I said, thorough.
They actually leave nothing out when it comes to this topic. What makes the book so helpful is that most pastors, unless they have a business background have very little clue on how to do this aspect of a church. Yet, it is incredibly important. Without money, a church will die very quickly. While most people dont want to hear that, it is reality and something that more leaders need to think about.
For me, as a lead pastor I have the tension that as the leader of Revolution (along with the staff and elders) I am responsible to God and will be held accountable for how money is used at Revolution. I am held responsible for how we use the resources that God entrusts to us. These resources are not only valuable because of where they come from but also for what they will be used for. They cant be wasted. Too much is at stake.
I think the parable is not only true for individuals but is also true for churches. God entrusts more to churches who can handle more. It is that simple. When it comes to people, resources, finances, if we will waste them, why would God give us more of them?
This book was a great reminder of some things, as well as something I got a ton out of. I highlighted so much as we are thinking through some of the policies they talked about in the book. Definitely worth picking up and passing off to your financial team (which Ive done).

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I dont know any of the new stars, but I have known of few of the original top YouTube celebrities. Heres what I think of them - whats your reaction?! Let me know who yours are and Ill check em out. I did this based on the number of total views and left out some of my best friends. Im not using their faces because someone will flag me. Ive got enemies.

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Ive been with my fiance for almost a year and a half. We live together (have lived together for a year) and I love him very much, and I know he loves me too. We are having a baby in less than 6 weeks and are both extremely excited. But, I dont know...theres something wrong with me and the way I feel. Im constantly worried that hes looking at other girls or porn. Ive caught him looking at other girls bodies and I find it extremely offensive. I know he used to be a porn addict, and I dont see how that habit is easily broken, thats why I worry. I get mad over the smallest things (to him) but they are very important to me. We are currently in a fight over him suddenly looking at the tv when the commercial mentioned the word "bikini".... It just makes me sick to think that he could look at other girls and have sexual thoughts... It hurts...I love him more than anything in this world... I dont think he would ever cheat to be honest though. Its just that I feel so "unsexy"...Im 8 months pregnant and as big as a house...My self esteem is terrible and the things he is doing isnt helping. Another thing, Im really worried that he still loves his ex girlfriend in a way...it hurts so much to think about. I lost my virginity to him and he lost it to her... (and has been with other people since her)...puts me in tears just at the thought of it. When I first moved in with him, I found her stuff in his closet (notes, underwear, teddy bears...) when putting mine away. He said he forgot that was there. He left his email open and I found a special folder that he had that still had all of their old conversations...he said he forgot that was there too. I also found sex videos of them and naked pictures of her still on his computer, he said he forgot that was there as well...that has completely torn me apart. I cant even make love with him without thinking about those videos I came across...Its like it has ruined us. They dated for a year and a half and broke up a year after he graduated high school (in 2006). In 2007, he was messaging her on myspace saying that he missed talking to her and that she should call him sometime. I just cant help thinking about the whole situation... I dont know if I can ever love him the same. I know everyone has a past but im just so scared that he missed her. Scared that he still thinks about her...she was his first love... Even though he does treat me wonderfully... Its gotten to the point that I dont even want him to touch me because I cant stand the thought of his past. I dont want hugs, dont want kisses, and I cant even talk to him the same, its all one word answers and meaningless. Weve talked about this time and time again. He told me our relationship was unlike anything previous or anything he ever imagined..but that was all before I found everything. Now I dont think I believe it. He always listens to old depressing love songs and the lyrics make me wonder even more...I dont know if thats just because he likes the songs, or if hes listening to the words... I dont know.. I just need advice... what in the world do I do... Ive been in tears for almost a year now.....Weve talked about it and it will get better for a month or so, then everything goes right back to the way it was... I cant take it anymore... Someone, help.

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Okay, seriously, how the fuck did this happen?
This morning before school I cuddled with her in my bed, nose and lips nestled into her neck, muttering softly between pecks of kisses, Seven... seven.. seven... Which in tone and delivery sounded very much like Indiana Jones in Raiders Of The Lost Ark groaning, Snakes... why did it have to be snakes? upon seeing the writhing floor awaiting him at the bottom of The Well Of Souls.
YES, IT TOTALLY FEELS JUST LIKE THAT, SHUT UP.
At bedtime these days we spend a good hour or so reading through old copies of National Geographic (this is her new favorite thing to do... its almost as if Im diligently following some kind of recipe for baking a nerd, I know). The night before last the topic was Venice -- shes very concerned that all the babies get out of there before the place fills up with water (JUST the babies, fuck all the rest of yall!) -- and a bit on the supervolcano under Yellowstone, which by turns fascinated and disturbed both of us (as mass-extinction-producing, molten-rock-and-ash-spewing exploding mountains will). Then last night we dug into Darwin and natural selection, complete with gorgeous photos of the Galapagos Islands and diagrams of strange fish-mammal skeletons. In explaining The Origin Of Species I talked with her a bit about how our cat Zelda, who sleeps curled on her bed each night, has a shared ancestor with Tigers and Lions. When I finished explaining, she pet Zelda thoughtfully and then murmured, with a hint of genuine sadness, I bet Zelda misses her Aunt-Sister.
This is around when I started tickling her mercilessly.
Some of this stuff goes right over her head, clearly. But last night I couldnt help but feel hyper-aware of the significance of this shift in her bedtime reading interests, at once overjoyed and crushed that Goodnight Moon and Runaway Bunny are gone and never coming back.
I feel old. My baby is seven today. How can my baby be seven? How?
. . . . .
PS: Sweetney has been nominated for a Baltimore Sun for Best Family blog. Id love it if youd give me your vote here. I promise to not raise taxes. Plus, LASERS!
PPS: If you also like MamaPop, you can vote for us in the Pop Culture category here. THANKS.

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Its that time again, people. Award season. And instead of honoring Jay-Z, Taylor Swift and Britney Spears for their contributions to recent music and pop culture, THE POP FIX has decided to compile a list of musicians who have permanently left their mark on popular culture, influencing the current generations of superstars and wannabes. Although this may be shocking, music actually did exist before Kanye West. Just dont tell him we said it. This project was inspired by the Rolling Stone version of the 100 best singers. We hate to admit it, but basically we thought it was a joke. Sadly, it wasnt.

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